Long time no chat, y’all. Life has constantly been in flux after that last post. It was indeed like being whipped around in a hurricane. From dealing with grief and finally thinking that I’ve reached an equilibrium emotionally to getting back to work and struggling to complete tasks, I just feel like I’m being tossed around, and I don’t know where my priorities lie.
I honestly wish I had the answers here. I don’t. I may never have them.
Sometimes, life just tosses you around, and it takes everything to make it to a sense of peace. You just have to take baby steps and take it day by day, as cliche as it sounds. It’s like I know this. I know that all you can do is stay present and focus on the tasks and emotions you have directly in front of you, but it’s hard when graduation is on the horizon and the job market is made up of “hurry-up-and-wait” tactics. With these things, you ultimately have to think about the future. You have to think about what job you want to do. You want to apply to enough places to give you an option but not spread yourself too thin. You want to ask for what you are worth but not price yourself out of jobs. You also don’t want to just take a job for the sake of having it because you want a fighting chance of somewhat liking your job and the people that you work for.
Sometimes, it’s all a lot to handle…
Not to mention that I still haven’t graduated yet. How am I possibly supposed to stay present? I need to because, obviously, the dissertation needs to be completed. This is precisely why I purposely (and sometimes forcibly) bring myself back to the present. I have to get my dissertation done. I have to eat better. I have to take care of myself. All these things are happening to me in the present. So first, what do we have to do to work things now?
Be present, friends!
So the next time you feel that you are being tossed around mercilessly by the storm around you, try your best to live in the moment. I have been doing that a couple of ways: binge-watching TV shows and purposefully making time to hang out with friends. I’ve been on a Black Gangster kick and watching Godfather of Harlem (Bumpy Johnson). Then, I’ll move on to watching American Gangster (Frank Lucas). I find joy in seeing the juxtaposition of gangsters and seeing what they do and how they overcome (or succumb to) their circumstances. I also had a really fun impromptu girls’ night with my friends last night, and it was really fun to listen to music and watch TV with them.
Happy Black History Month!
Stay Black if you are. If not, learn something about the culture and help us out where you can 😉
ALEXUS P. BROWN, PH.D. 